Yesterday I shared a bit about fighting for your marriage, instead of fighting in it. I also mentioned that the Women’s Bible Study I attend had a special guest a few weeks ago. Our lesson that week was about the power of covenant, and our guest, who has been married for over fifty years, shared her top ten tips for how to make your marriage a success. Some of these are specifically geared toward women, but nearly all of them have themes that can apply to either gender.

Here are the Top Ten Tips she shared for making your marriage a success. (In no particular order.)

1. Your husband [or wife] cannot meet all of your needs, and was never supposed to. Jesus has to be on the throne of your heart.

2. Don’t take your husband for granted. Keep yourself beautiful for him. (There are too many women who don’t care he’s married.) Keep your home so that there is no place he’d rather be. Perhaps this is applicable for husbands, too, to some extent!

{Our guest shared with us at this point that she gets up earlier than her husband every morning in order to put her makeup on before he wakes up. We were amazed!}

3. Sex is more important to men, but it is God-given, and a place of great satisfaction within a marriage. Don’t withhold it. Sex is like a cleansing from the little frustrations you’re carrying.

4. Keep the secret things about your husband (or wife) to yourself. Honor them whether or not you think they deserve it. Let your husband know you respect him and he can trust you.

5. Don’t always correct him. Especially if it’s not critical to what’s being said — does it matter whether it happened on a Monday or a Tuesday? It’s dishonoring to consistently correct your husband.

6. Never say “I told you so.”

7. God’s divine order is the husband as the head of the family. You can share your opinion, but give him the benefit of the decision. When you’re in disagreement, pray, pray, pray. (God might change his mind, He might change yours.) Patience and prayer: this is what submission is, honoring your husband as the head.

8. Be careful with your words in times of frustration or disagreement. (They are like toothpaste that can’t be put back in to the tube once it has been squeezed out!) Words can kill a marriage.

9. Money: Budget and stick to it. Tithe. Give to God first. You have to work out your finances together.

10. The Best Gift that you can give to your children is a happy marriage. Love, hugs, kisses, respect, peace and fun — this is your gold. Divorce is not an option. You’ve made an eternal commitment. Choose to be happy in it!

Whether you’ve made it a few decades and are still going strong, you’re just getting started, or you’re on rocky ground at the moment, there is room for growth and improvement in every marriage. And while there are countless resources online with advice and suggestions for improving your marriage, we should be careful who we are willing to take advice from. At the same time, we should also be willing to learn and think about how to strengthen our marriages. (We should also be willing look for help when we need it!)

Are you happily married? Are there tips you would add to the list that have worked for you?

We’d love to hear from you!

You might also like to check out an excellent post called “Seven Ways to Destroy Your Marriage” by South Carolina-based Pastor Perry Noble. There’s also a great post on We Are THAT Family called “100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock.”  {Please take a moment to share any resources that have blessed your marriage in the comments!}


Caroline Collie loves to write, to read and to laugh. She and her South African Hero Hubs live in North Carolina with their two young boys. When she’s not mommying, baking, or serving as the Site Manager here at Signposts, she writes on her own blog,