If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us. – 1 John 1:8-10
“Other people just don’t get it.” “What an idiot.” “I know they’re probably judging me.” “I’m sure they don’t halve half as much to deal with as I do.”
In the world of special needs parenting, it’s easy to fall into a trap of self pity. This self pity can lead us into all kinds of sinful attitudes. Sure, sometimes the general public can try your patience. And if we mapped out your day, hour by hour, you probably do have more to “deal with” than the average person. But this is no excuse for having a condescending attitude toward others, or to indulge in self aggrandizement.
These attitudes are one way that we can actually bring suffering on ourselves.
That’s right. You suffer, and it’s all your own fault. It’s NOT some form of spiritual strengthening because you are a suffering saint.
Maybe you’ve been telling yourself you lost that friend because God knew you didn’t need them in your life. “They just don’t understand.” Or maybe you lost them because everything out of your mouth had become negative and all about yourself.
Maybe you’ve been telling yourself that all those family conflicts are due to other people’s issues. Their bad temper, their lack of caring…. Or maybe it’s because you, yourself, have become bad tempered, bitter, and dismissive of others.
Lost in self pity over our “special needs” situation, we lose touch with reality and wrap ourselves in a cocoon of entitlement….
God does not want us to spiral downward like this. He will remove protections from us in order to let us suffer and experience a disciplining situations.
But this discipline is not unfair, nor is it to be to our ultimate detriment. These situations are to call our attention to areas where we have sin. Because God knows that protecting us from our bad choices and leaving us in our sin is ultimately far more harmful than allowing us to experience pain and suffering now.
Before drawing any conclusions about a difficult situation, we should always first give it an honest look to see if we, in some way, contributed to our own suffering through our attitudes or actions.
Sometimes both parties in a situation are sinning, but the only person you are accountable for is yourself.
When you find that you are wrong, even if it’s for the thousandth time, know that God does not want you to give up and wallow in the misery of your consequences. He wants you to learn from your suffering and confess your sin.
When you confess and move on, God is able to take suffering that may have occurred as a result of your own sin, and turn it into blessing.
Your personal sin is no longer an issue to God. Jesus took care of it on the cross. He just wants you recognize it yourself, confess it before Him, and allow Him to work through you again.
Some natural consequences we live with forever- God doesn’t remove all consequences– but when you confess your sins and allow the Holy Spirit to once again guide your actions, your situation can be redeemed in ways you never imagined.